Sub in the City

The art of taking sexy selfies

The art of taking sexy selfies

If you’re wanting to do something naughty and nice for your partner or you’re just looking to give yourself a confidence boost, then taking some sexy selfies is a great thing to do. Nothing will make you feel hotter than getting all dolled up in your favourite lingerie and high heels, sticking some music on, and having your own personal photoshoot.

But many of us are too quick to judge ourselves, either feeling uncomfortable in our bodies or feeling shy about catching ourselves on camera. Taking a sexy selfie can feel unnatural and cringey if you’ve never done it before, and you may find yourself being disappointed in the results and instantly wanting to delete everything you just spent the last hour posing awkwardly to achieve.

But it doesn’t have to be awkward, or difficult. Instead, this can be a fun activity to do either alone, with a friend/play partner or your other half. Exhibitionist or not, here are some top tips for capturing you in all your kinky glory!

Wear what makes you feel good

Sexy selfies don’t have to be completely nude, nor do they have to be skimpy lingerie if that’s going to make you feel self-conscious about all your lumps and bumps. Instead, pick a lingerie set that makes you feel good, that flatters your figure and means you’re not having to breathe in the entire time (your body might look good but I can guarantee your face will look like you’re holding in poop – not sexy).

And who said sexy selfies needed to be in lingerie at all? You could put your cutest pyjamas or your partner’s baggy t-shirt, if you feel good in it, it will show on camera, and vice versa.

Make sure you have good lighting

While you don’t have to have the best camera, you do need to have good lighting to capture a super sexy shot. Natural light is best, but if you don’t fancy having a full-on nude photoshoot on a Sunday morning, then investing in a ring light or use the flash on your camera!

Unless you’re going for the dungeon vibe, steer clear of dim, yellow, or orange lighting. While it may seem tempting to hide those parts of yourself you don’t like, poor lighting is more likely to draw attention to shadows in other places. I can guarantee that the parts you’re trying to hide are probably the parts your partner likes most about you.


Why so serious? Let’s be honest, there are few of us who can truly rock the smouldering look, so if it doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s okay. Duck pouts are so 2002 and orgasm faces should stay on PornHub. The best sign of someone who is confident in their skin is a smile. Smiling for the camera is usually what is most comfortable for many of us, and this doesn’t have to change for a sexy selfie. So whack out the statement lippy and have some fun.  If you don’t want to show your face, cropping your photo at the lips can really make them stand out.

Know your angles

Ask many people and you’ll probably get lots of different answers when it comes to the best angles for a flattering photo. But the truth is, everyone’s angles are different, so this really is down to trial and error. If you’re holding the camera, then generally front on or at a slight upwards angle tends to capture the best parts (face, cleavage). However even “best parts” are subjective. If you want to get a good shot of the peach, mirror shots work well, just be sure it’s smudge-free first. Setting your camera up on a timer or using a webcam is also a good way to capture your behind, or a full body shot. Again, this takes some practice, but have fun with it and try out anything and everything until you get the perfect shot.

Less is more

You don’t have to go full-frontal nude in every photo. In fact, leaving more to the imagination is what can make a photo extremely sexy. Showing a bit of side or underboob, pulling down one side of your knickers, or covering up certain parts of your body will leave them wanting more. This is a good opportunity to get creative and play around with your angles.

Know your surroundings

It’s not enough to know your angles, you need to be aware of your surroundings too. The background of a photo can really change it, so make sure you have a clear and neutral space with no mess or random objects in the background (the last thing you want is comments on your new washing machine rather than your new lingerie). You can also use things in the background or in the shot to your advantage, perhaps lying on the bed, leaning up against a wall, or on a chair. And you can also use props too – lay some toys on the bed and grab a glass of wine – these are all things that can build a story to your photo.

Ultimately I think the key to a good sexy selfie is don’t try to hard. Don’t get so dressed up you can barely move or breathe. Just relax and have fun with it, put some music on, be creative and as always, know your limits. The pictures you take don’t have to go anywhere, they can be kept private purely for your eyes only, or shared with someone you trust. However, if you want to show off your sexy selfies loud and proud, then be sure to tag me @subinthecity on Instagram!

If you’re new to BDSM or want to learn some new skills, keep an eye out for my upcoming workshops!

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