A Guide to Chastity

Chastity, the act of restricting some or all kinds of sexual pleasure, involves intense denial, control and perseverance. By wearing a chastity cage or belt, Submissives are forced to abstain from sex for the duration of a scene or in a long term commitment. Within a BDSM power dynamic, chastity can be a test of the Submissive’s dedication to their Dominant as well as a Dominant’s method to control or deny their partner’s orgasms. If chastity is broken without good reason, it’s usually up to the Dom or keyholder to decide what happens next. Outside of a dynamic, people may use chastity devices as a way to master their self-discipline, increase the emotional and physical pleasure that’s achieved from orgasming after abstaining, or to focus on other areas of their body other than their genitals. 

Why people are into chastity

Aside from being ordered to by their Dom, there are lots of other reasons why someone might choose to be in chastity. Thinking of the psychological aspects, Submissives may lean further into subspace when their access to touch is restricted, and chastity might help to refocus a Sub on their obedience, especially in service or Slave roles. Orgasm control can feel sexy as it is, but experiencing orgasms after a long time of abstinence can intensify them – or, if someone remains in permanent chastity, they can be forced to find pleasure in alternative ways, which can definitely be rewarding. For example, handsfree prostate orgasms, sometimes known as sissygasms, can be achieved through anal penetration, and it can feel great for a Sub to know that their genitals are being ignored. Chastity can also have practical effects during anal training by increasing focus and concentration. For people who use BDSM as a tool for gender experimentation, chastity can be a great way to move focus away from the genital area to alleviate dysphoria. Lastly, cucking scenes might involve aspects of chastity as a way to tease a partner about what they can’t touch

Types of chastity devices

The two main chastity devices are cages and belts. Cages are worn on the penis, and chastity belts are worn a bit like underwear. The majority of chastity devices have locking mechanisms and come with a set of keys.

Chastity cages can be all sorts of shapes, sizes and materials to suit your preferences and comfort level best. Silicone cages are pretty flexible and comfortable, so a lot of people use these to start out with. Resin and metal cages are more rigid, but some people prefer these because of the way they look and feel – especially with the cold sensation of metal. Micro cages, which are sometimes used by those in long term chastity, can be completely flat and work best for penises that have been shrunk through caging. Some cages have built in urethral sounds or dilators which remain in the penis for the time that the cage is worn.

Chastity belts, which are usually made from a combination of silicone and metal, can suit men and women depending on the design. These are usually less discreet than cages, but some people find them to be more comfortable because they keep everything in place.

Self-caging

You don’t need a Dominant to practice chastity – many people choose to cage themselves on their own terms. Other than it being a turn on, chastity can have a practical reason, such as helping to cut down on porn consumption and masturbation, or a more symbolic meaning, such as improving self-discipline and Submission even outside of a dynamic. People who self-cage might keep their own key, or give it to someone they trust that’d feel comfortable holding onto it. 

Safety, hygiene and physical effects

Now for the serious bits: safety, hygiene and risk. Understanding how to use and clean a cage, as well as knowing the short term and long term effects of caging, will help you get the best experience out of chastity. Here’s some do’s and don’ts to consider before you start.

Do: Research! Browse different chastity devices to find one that suits your body and requirements best. Use sizing guides to help you find the right fit, and think about what type of chastity device might fit best with your lifestyle or dynamic. Also, consider the long term effects of chastity. Over extended periods of time, cock cages can shrink the penis or affect its function. For some, this can be a good thing, but it’s best to be aware just in case this might be a problem. 

Do: Regularly clean your chastity device, especially if it touches bodily fluids. Use toy cleaner and a Q-tip to get to the more fiddly bits, and rinse using warm water. Its best to take everything off so you can clean the individual parts of the chastity device properly.

Do: Keep a spare key somewhere safe so you have a backup plan if one gets lost.

Don’t: Buy a bad quality chastity device – it’ll be more likely to break or cause an injury. If you’re unsure, check out online reviews of the product to guide you.

Don’t: Jump straight into it. This goes for starting your chastity journey, as well as the physical act of putting a chastity device on. Relax your body before putting on a chastity device – lube might also help a cage to slide on easier. And start slow when exploring chastity by wearing it for short periods of time and gradually increasing the length of time as you start to get used to it.

How you can be in chastity without a chastity device?

If chastity devices aren’t your style for whatever reason, don’t let it stop you from exploring chastity. Instead, you could wear something else to symbolise your chastity, such as a special piece of jewellery or collar. Some people enforce chastity by simply making a promise to their partner, which can be enough to make someone abstain from sex. 

Like collaring, chastity can hold a really significant meaning in BDSM. It takes a lot of trust to share a dynamic that involves chastity, so wait until someone has earned your trust before you lock them or give them your chastity keys. This being said, chastity doesn’t have to be as extreme or serious as it usually sounds – there’s plenty of exciting challenges (such as Locktober) and supportive online chastity communities to get involved with.